If Bert was a real dude he’d look like this…and we’d all be a lot different.

(via 420hotdog)

buzzfeed:

Happy Valentine’s Day…
[via]

buzzfeed:

Happy Valentine’s Day…

[via]

Just spent $20 On something I’m not even sure will work tomorrow.

I wonder what all of my exes are doing for Christmas, probably breaking up with their current boyfriends.

iheartchaos:

Also, Dorothy’s face is a butt.

(via robdelaney)

Talking to myself taking a piss.

It’s so fucking cold, I’m going to bring a thermometer to work. Not to check the temperature, but to shove it up the ass of who keeps fucking with the thermostat.

Mitt Romney Is Back to Pumping His Own Gas 

Does this make you as happy as it makes me? I hope so.

If you don’t have any family to eat Thanksgiving with, at least have a backup booty call.

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